Amy Gile Q+A
What in your opinion are the qualities of a power woman?
A. The willingness to be vulnerable. To be transparent and speak from your heart, but still stay strong, strong in who you know you are and can be. The willingness to say ‘I don’t know’, or not have an answer. But to say, ‘You know what? Let me go figure it out. I will find out.’ The willingness to solve. Challenges and opportunities. Holding the team up, surrounding yourself with brilliance, and being comfortable doing that. You don’t have to be the one in the spotlight, you just have to elevate and see all the parts around you. Vulnerability seems like, for a lot of people, a negative thing, but I think for a strong powerful woman it makes you more powerful.
With all the different issues one could focus on, how do you balance your efforts in pursuit of gender equality. Is it a global approach, or is it more specific and passionate to you?
That is an interesting question! The way we as women can have impact is to stay strong and succeed. I’ve been through a lot, and I have experienced probably not at all, but darn near close to it. I don’t allow these things to hold me back or hold me down, or wallow in that or wish things were different. It’s like, no, I can prove it can be different. I can teach my team and my peers and others what is possible. I can speak to young girls and tell them that. I would say and tell – the Ted Talk it was more just in regards to myself like, ‘I’ve got to be strong. When I was going through that talk, a lot of things shifted. As you heard, it initially wasn’t going to be about that. But and I did have had that realization that I really needed to go past myself and deliberately elevate other women. I still haven’t fully still figured out yet how to completely do that. A lot of times I would join these female groups, or join these organizations to think, ‘Ok, maybe this is the way to make an impact’ and get very upset and frustrated when it becomes just a bitch session. Those are not going to do us any good. Sitting here and complaining about what happened in the past, it’s not great. We have to think about what we are doing moving forward, and how we can make an impact moving forward. I cannot stand complaining, the bitching… It’s like, well then prove yourself! Then show what you can do! I’m not going to sit in a room, and interview a man or a woman and care if it’s a man or a woman. I am going to listen to what they are going to bring to the table and how they will collaborate with me, and it’s not about gender.
Do you believe there is a gender-specific role for women to play in the climate change debate today?
A: I’ve never thought of that specifically. That is a tough one. That is a great, great question.
M: When I think about it, I always think about how women multitask so much better than men.
A: Ugh, they do!
M: It’s just a given. Not that men are not accomplished, that’s not what we’re saying.I just think women do have a role to play. But I am not saying anymore, I’ll let you answer the question.
A: No, I agree they do. The multitasking I would think would be a huge part of that. God, I love this question, it’s so thought provoking. I do feel everybody can have an impact, and everybody needs to have an impact. I look at myself on an everyday basis and go, ‘I could have done that better’, or ‘oh wow, I just automatically did this because this is the norm and I could have made a different choice’. Habits come into play, and each of us can shift and adjust our habits even if we just take them one piece at a time. But as a big impact, yes, I do. Women are also able to seek from our heart. Not that men can’t, of course they can. But, for some reason the narrative isn’t being heard. Sometimes I think when a narrative is hitting everyone up over the head, and again, like the that bitching scenario, you don’t hear it. No matter how provocative it is, no matter how important it is, even if it is life or death — if you’re being hit over the head, you don’t hear it. So I do think there is an opportunity for women to take the approach that is not hitting people over the head with this that isn’t a blame game, that isn’t pointing the finger at, but from the heart. Change the narrative of the conversation. There’s the facts. What will happen if the narrative shifts in that kind of way, women will hear it. There are a lot of women, and they can start making an impact and they – don’t quote me on this because this is a bad thing to say, but things are trainable. People are trainable. People can learn, men can learn.
M: For many many years and centuries, women have not been the breadwinners and men have. I think there is all of that, over generations, needs shifts and a new approach and change made just by that. It’s just learning. Learning, observing, and moving with the times which is what is relevant.
A: I want to add one thing to that. Take my husband for example. This is a basic thing, recycle your cans right? That is a basic, it is all we can do. This man, for the life of me, could not stick it into the right place where he is supposed to. So I have really made an effort to change the location of the trash bins so it is as easy as possible for him — and it worked.
Could you tell me one thing that brought you to where you are today?
A: This sounds crazy, but I do think my accident did. Having something like that happen to you, and then to be able to get through it and overcome it – we all change and overcome things but there is a greater appreciation for those around you, for what you’re capable of doing. Not having fear or having ego get in the way, is just a given. Of course it’s possible. Of course we can do this. If we get it wrong, that’s okay we’ll figure out another way. There isn’t a fear of trying. That experience gave me that. It gave me the opportunity to be willing to trust that it is at least worth a shot.
M: It’s almost like you’re reinventing yourself.
A: It’s not even about reinventing, it is a willingness to try and change. If you have a thought or if you have an idea, go for it. I think part of that was already in me before the accident, it’s just the accident made it stronger. It also took away the fear of death. So much of what we do is about life or death. It’s like you’ve already kind of died but you’re still here. Once you have come back, you’re like, okay, if that happens that’s what’s supposed to happen. So let’s go, let’s try this. I can help other people with what we do. Instead of doing something just for myself, how can that impact others? That really did. The realization. There was another moment that was like, ‘Well, you can’t do this. That’s not possible. Nobody can potentially do that.’ And it’s like, ‘Are you kidding me? I got hit by a truck, came back, and am walking and you’d never know.’ So…
M: That was the next question I was going to ask you, what actually happened? But oh my god!
A: It was in my Ted Talk, but I was modeling in Madrid, Spain. I was modeling all over Europe, I was with Elite Paris. I was in Spain and crossing a major street, and a government tow truck ran a red light and hit me. He was going at least 45 miles per hour. I didn’t see him coming, so I was completely relaxed. I had turned to see if this other model was following me walking across the street and I got hit by a Mac’ truck, flew 35 feet, and landed face down.
M: Wow, how long ago was that?
A: I was 22.
M: That’s crazy,
A: So, there was a whole story around the thing because it was a government truck that hit me. I ended up in a youth hostel part of the time, I came home to a youth hostel. It was a really crazy crazy experience, but I had to relearn to speak and walk, and it was a journey certainly. But yeah.
M: So young too.
A: So young. I remember there was a physical therapist called Marika in New York. She’s incredible, she does all the ballerinas. They had flown me back to Idaho where my parents were. I was actually living in Europe, but I had a place in Chicago and my parents were in Idaho. So I was flown back to Idaho for care. When I was going through physical therapy, my physical therapist was working with Marika because I was a dancer, a ballerina prior. So she was working with her because they were using muscle memory to help retrain my brain. I decided, you know what? I am going to New York. I’m going to New York to do physical therapy just with her. and So my parents were like, ‘have you lost your mind?’ I’m like ‘no!’ So I ended up moving to New York and doing physical therapy with her, but it was very funny because I couldn’t cross streets. So I would wait at street corners to see if there was a nice little old lady or old man who would let me hold their arm so I could cross the street. Post traumatic stress, so. It makes sense when it comes to, ‘How could I possibly be a CEO of a technology company when that was my background?’
If you could have someone else’s job for a day, who would it be and why?
A: So good! I would really really want two jobs for a day. I would love to experience a job of someone that’s really struggling, really getting their hands dirty, yet they are positive and love what they do. I think it’s always really good to keep things in perspective. If I could get in the shoes of somebody that is doing everything they can, and they’re still happy and smiling, and still doing the sort of jobs I never had to do in my life. I’ve had tough things, I’ve struggled, my parents didn’t always have money but we still were ok. I would love to be able to firsthand experience what that is like for somebody else because that would bring in another perspective for me, versus the assumption of what that perspective could be.
M: Fantastic! It is supposed to be a fun question, and is supposed to be playful with who you are. We all try to at some point want to be somebody else for the day. To wonder what it’s like to be in the others shoes.
A: I always wanted to be a detective, something like that, where you have to solve all of the clues. I think that would be really cool.
M: It sounds like you have such an inquisitive mind. It’s like you’re constantly trying to grow who you are mentally, physically, emotionally, which is fantastic, and it is what makes you into who you are which is what it’s all about.
In what way do you work for women’s power and equality? What do you think is the number one action as a society we can take, i.e affirmative action, which can help progress women and help move the margins?
A: A really obvious one is equal pay. It just blows my mind that it’s still-it seems like it would be such a basic 1-2 fix, and that that still exists. We improve and we get better, and then something will happen and I’ll be like, ‘Did that really just happen? Did they really say that?’ I think standing up for ourselves — I don’t know why, as women, we accept certain things. That it is ok that certain things happen. We have to take some accountability in the choices we make as women too. We can’t change anything if we don’t take responsibility for our own actions whether there is something happening to us. Now there are certain circumstances that are completely out of our control, and I am not speaking to those because those are absolutely horrific. When we can’t expect change if we aren’t part of the solution to change it.
M: True to who we are. I think women are getting better because women are empowered by each other today more than they’ve ever been. I think that’s huge. There is so much more women have had to fight for just in their general footprint in life. Women know that well. Hey, if I lose this job, for a guy, it’s ok, he can walk out, but I got to take care of the family. If I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, it’s the livelihood of the family. It’s just the world we’ve grown up living in.
A: It’s so true. In my TedX Talk, I gave an example of my daughters. Dragging them to school, I was shocked. Here, I’m a Ceo of a technology company. But at their school, they still have certain assumptions about what women should do vs men. I’m raising two teenage daughters, and working very hard to fight to remove those assumptions, and I’m stunned to see how difficult it is. I can only control what goes on in my home, I can’t control what’s happening at school, what’s happening around them in the environment. You would think that the parent would be the stronger perspective, but it’s an everyday battle.
What do women need to do today to be more effective in their relationships in work and all of those spaces. Do you feel there is a story or encounter beyond what you’ve already shared that was an experience in a workplace environment that changed some of your thought process?
A: I don’t know if I can speak to one specific moment. What people are saying and what you are hearing aren’t always the same thing. I discovered that if something affected me, not necessarily in a good way, I would repeat the exact words back and say, ‘This is what I heard you say to me, this is how it made me feel, was that your intention?’ It was shocking. In starting to do that, my relationship with people became significantly better. Back in the day times were very different. What we hold men accountable for then, and what is acceptable now are two very, very separate things. We also talked about habits, and as women we can help shift those habits. It sounds so horrible because it’s not our job to change people, but they are impacting us.
M: There has been a lot of conditioning. Naturally, women have always stayed at home and done household chores just by the formula of who women actually are. So there is all of that that has to change. But it’s having people have an open mind. One of the sayings that we have is, ‘Old white men have to now know their place.’ They have to stop feeling they have this trip of power. Get over it! There are many people and women. Women that wear skirts, that can match you sixfold. Get with the program!
A: It’s like, ‘You’ve just said this. Probably not an appropriate thing to say. We’re gonna backtrack, not alright.’ With tech guys, i’ve had them say things that you just cant believe and I don’t even think they realize they’ve said it out loud. It’s like, they are thinking it, and then it comes out. So then I say, ‘You said this out loud. Not appropriate. We will move forward, but-’. What we can do as women is not read so much into everything, but if it is impactful – sometimes, as women, we overreact too. I’m sorry, but I like it when a man opens my door!
M: I tell my husband that too! I’m happy to do the dishes and the washing, it’s okay! You can open the door for me!
A: I’m not a big fan of taking out the garbage, please take out the garbage. It’s not like I can’t, I certainly will, but we have our things as women that we put on men, like ‘these are their jobs and their responsibilities.’ We can’t necessarily pick and choose what we like and don’t like. We need to be a little more aware across the board.
M: You said it, that if there is an understanding. Like if it’s between you and your husband and there’s an understanding and he knows what you like and don’t like and vice versa, you don’t have to tell each other because it’s just understood. When I have to, I gotta do it. I think a lot of that in the old school that needs to change.
In New York City, the question about asking for previous salary requirements in a job interview contributes to the pay gap between men and women. New York State recently over lawed this practice. Should we push for a nationwide ban?
A: I can see where that would contribute to the gap actually. I don’t know if i’d ever dug deep in regards to that because I do really look at it more as a role. What is the range of this role? That’s what we do in regards to Silverdraft. Yes, if that’s what it is going to take to make that shift, and force the issue of it being about the role and the job, not your gender, that can only be a good thing. I do think it’s tough when there are certain parameters around business, but not all parameters are bad. Is it working?
M: In New York? Yes, absolutely! I think it was passed because everybody wants to stop constantly feeling it’s about ‘him’ or ‘her.’ It should not be about him or her, but about ‘us.’ The day we stop talking about women having to try hard – why should they? They should be equal. Equal means equal. I would be the first to admit that men do things differently because they are physically built differently, but mentally and emotionally we all have boundaries and areas, and they are coming together. I would be the first to admit that all men are not bad. My own husband – I worship him. I think he’s the best thing since sliced bread. I always tell everybody that I’ve got the best husband in town! He is in touch with his feminine side, he is in touch with what’s important with women. He says ‘I would have any one woman do ten men’s jobs’ because men just can’t get there. They take too long and they procrastinate too long! Women just get the job done.
A: Sometimes you don’t overthink it, just do it! That is so true.
Have you seen changes in the political landscape for women in the past few years? If so, what do you feel that they are?
A: Politics is a whole challenging discussion. There’s things I don’t like, things I support, things I don’t support, it goes all directions for me. There are a few things that are critical – we can’t go backwards, we need to go forward as women. What is right and fair. I hate to see anything that causes us to take steps backward. But I also think sometimes, it’s that hitting over the head standpoint. Rather than bitching about what was or what is, it’s what can we do to change, to make an impact, to make a difference. I look back to my early days living in New York City, my twenties, I mean living in New York in the nineties was an incredible experience. What was then, and what is now are two very different things. Not all men that have certain behavior in the nineties are bad men now. They shift, they evolve, so I hope that as we go forward, we as women can help improve things. I don’t want to get political, because that takes us down a whole other path but I do –
M: I’ll just say this and you don’t have to agree. What is the problem in today’s United States of America with men dealing with women wearing a skirt and running the country. I don’t get it! But in the third world, who treat women like second class citizens have had women as presidents. Or their country leader. It blows my mind! It makes you realize how backward everybody is. Obama always used to say, education, education, education is the most important thing to make people realize you’re only intimidated and threatened because you do not know what is the truth.
A: Oh, I definitely agree. I also feel as women, one of the key things we need to make sure we need to do is to not feel like we need to be a man. We don’t need to be men. We don’t need to suddenly do their behavior, act their behavior, dress the way they dress. I can dress pretty, I can dress feminine, I can wear a skirt and feel sexy and own it. As women we need to know that is okay. It’s interesting because we have a gal that works for us, Elizabeth Barron, and she came from Ford. Early on in meeting Elizabeth said she loves the way I dress, that I’m willing to be feminine and sexy. One of the things that she made sure she didn’t lose in working at Ford was her style and what made her feel good as a female. She gave an example, and I think you’re going to do an interview with her. If you do I don’t want to take her story but I love the fact that she was who she was. We connected because we were both that way. She would say that girls would come in and start working there, and would be dressed feminine with style and fashion and then six months to a year later they would dress like all of the guys. I thought that was so interesting, what changes? I see that in technology as well. As women, maybe we don’t even realize we do it. Because i’ll think about it. I’ll be going to a certain meeting verus a different meeting and think, ‘Hmm I don’t know about that.’ verus what is going to make me feel good.
M: I can see that. I think we get into a space where we need to evaluate all the time. People say first impressions are lasting impressions.Its true, we all say we dont judge but we’re all the first to say well I wish I wore something differently because I walked in there and wasn’t a powerhouse all of a sudden. You need to be in the space that you’re in. Moving onto question twelve because I know we can probably talk for ages!
A: I can’t wait to meet you in person!
M: I am looking forward to it too! I know we are already planning a photoshoot for the fall which I am excited about so we will pass all of the scary parts of our life right now and be better for it. I only have a few of them left, and they’re only one word answers.
Was there one piece of advice anybody has given you, and can you share that with us? The best piece of advice anybody has given you?
A: Yes, I was told ‘I was enough.’ We’re enough. Shame on us when we forget that.
There are many studies that support the idea that the female presence in a boardroom increases the bottom line, and leads to a healthier work environment. What can we do to support and enhance the presence of women in high profile positions?
A: I think help give younger girls the belief in themselves that they can be in those positions. I think that sometimes as women – it cuts back to the advice that ‘we are not enough.’ The only way that perspective is going to change is if we believe in ourselves that we can be in those positions, and that when you’re in those positions, you don’t listen to – I get a lot of ‘that’s not how its done’ or ‘that’s not what a CEO does’ and I’m like ‘Who defines what a CEO does? Who defines those rules? This is the company that I want to build, and the way I want to work with my team.’ I do feel it does help with the bottom line because as women work, we can look at ‘this is happening over here, and this is happening over there, and this is happening way way down over there,’ and we can see all three of those things and how they align and what the trajectory can be with all three simultaneously. Women are really good at that. Elevating women to understand they are enough and can be in these positions is really important. It’s’ how do we do that?’ It’s one thing to say that, but how do we do it? I think that for me, I’m really working on figuring it out. I remember taking this moment and looking around my team and having all these beliefs as a woman and things I’ve gone through and hiring based on the job not the gender and then looking around my team and going, ‘Oh my gosh, I have all men’. It was a moment for me, because I didn’t think that way. So then it’s like, okay, I don’t think that way, but how do I get amazing women in front of me who have the confidence to know that they can do this job? That’s an area I think that as women leaders we should come together and think about. Again, I think it goes back to the bitch session, but it’s how we can have young talent know they are enough so they have a seat at the table so somebody like me can give them the opportunity.
What’s your favorite book? Fiction or nonfiction, present or past?
A: Oh my gosh, I love so many. I am a huge Shakespeare fan, and I know that seems crazy but I am! Oh, but which one do I like the most? I wish right now I had more time to read, I used to read all the time. With this home thing maybe I would have time to read, because I actually like the book. The feel of the book. My mother has hundreds of the old leather bound novels, I just love them. Ah, the smell of them! My grandmother had them and they went to my mother.
My next question is what do you most value in friends?
Loyalty.
What trait do you most deplore in yourself and others?
In myself, it’s when I have self-doubt or when I don’t trust myself or my gut instincts. Or it takes me too long to listen to it. With others, it’s when people take credit for other people’s work. Or don’t have accountability for their mistakes or actions.
What do you consider is the most overrated virtue?
A: Confidence.
M: Or in some worlds, we would say cockiness!
A: Confidence, ego…I think it’s a real strength when we can show vulnerability and be transparent.
M: I often say to young people, ‘Just because you don’t know, doesn’t mean you’re entitled to not know. Don’t be frightened to ask the questions!’
A: That would have been my next one! Entitlement!
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